The Things She Gave Me When She Left
by Utenakun
Summary: Sometimes a cowl is a vote of confidence. Light slash, 1s.


**Title:** The Things She Gave Me When She Left**  
>Author:<strong> vitupera**  
>Series:<strong> DCU, Batgirl (2009). Spoilers for the very beginning of the 2009 Batgirl series.**  
>Summary:<strong> Stephanie Brown reflects on Cassandra Cain's legacy.**  
>Rating:<strong> PG**  
>Disclaimer:<strong> My first foray into writing DCU! Total noob, definitely not making any kind of claim or money here.**  
>Notes: <strong>This was written for the yuri-challenge community on LJ. The prompt was the song lyrics "Remember when I was / So strange and likable," but while it was probably intended to be for Cass, Stephanie just worms her way into my head and starts chatting in there. In other words, for all it should be about Cassandra, it wound up being about who Stephanie was and is becoming. Possible AU, depending on how far you're willing to let me stretch their scene in Batgirl #1.

000

I'm pretty sure my head's a million miles away, but I get home just fine. I bet I could sneak back into my room in my sleep by now. I know I have to get out of my hood and into bed (about three and a half hours ago, ideally), but instead I sit down on my floor, still in the purple, holding Cassandra's costume. Everything feels completely unreal.

Well, not the part where she's gone. That, I can believe. Funny, isn't it? Sometimes it seems like people will just say anything to me, anything that pops into their heads, anything that will get me to do what they want. And sometimes, when I'm _not_ being totally emo, I'm pretty sure people just tend to say things without thinking them through, or realizing what sort of implication their own words have. But when Cass says something, that's the way it is. No more, she said. So I know, for real, that that was the last time I'll ever fight beside Cassandra Cain, Batgirl.

But the part where I hold Batgirl's costume in my hands, and it was given to me? That I can't wrap my head around. Everyone else in my life is telling me to get out of the vigilante business, we don't need your help, thanks so much anyway. And here I am holding the proof that Cass thought that I can do _her_ job.

Also, um, the kiss? That felt pretty unreal too.

I hadn't really meant to strike a pose, but then that one guy coughed and sat up and needed a boot to the solar plexus to encourage him to lie down and wait for the nice policemen. So there I was on a Gotham roof all arms crossed, one foot holding this guy down like I was a conquering hero or something. Not gonna lie, with the adrenaline rush and all it did cross my mind for a second that I probably looked pretty cool. You know, maybe in profile.

Still, it's not like I could enjoy it or anything because by then the rain was just coming down in sheets. My whole costume was soaked and my cape was sticking to my back- which always feels gross- and I was mentally cringing at the thought of how late I was going to get home. I'd be lucky to be back by two-

"It's funny. He's dead, yet they refuse to believe..."

I wasn't surprised to hear her words. Her fighting was as perfect and precise as ever, but everything about her was screaming how upset she was. As we all were. But even then, her relationship with him had been so different from mine, and I couldn't imagine how she was taking it.

She was already pulling her cowl off and I looked away, just to make sure the goons were properly out cold before she showed her face. Yeah, I took my eyes off of her for a second and next thing I knew, she was kissing me.

I mean, when did she even have time to get my mask up?

It was- nothing like any kiss I've ever had. Yeah, nothing like Tim. She was so unhappy. And I couldn't think, couldn't breathe- I don't even know how I reacted, I was so shocked. I know I mostly just froze up, but I think I kissed her back. I hope so, anyway.

She broke off, and walked away agin, back to the ledge and the skyline of Gotham at night. And even as she pulled herself out of the suit, she continued as if she'd never stopped talking, "his crest, his fight..."

"Cass," I could tell she was in a dangerous mood but I couldn't help myself, "what are you _doing_?"

So, she told me.

And not knowing what to say, I looked away.

And like every good Bat, when I looked back she was gone.

So here I am. I've changed out of the Spoiler costume and into my pjs, but I've still got Cassandra's costume spread out on the floor. I won't be able to sleep until I've gone over it, anyway. You know, check the seams, test the zippers, make sure all the hems are intact.

Make sure I'm not dreaming.

I was so different the first time I was Spoiler, when I was Robin. I remember being that girl, but still, she was someone completely different. For one thing, she was someone who thought that if she was hurt enough, she could give this whole life up. Now, at least, I'm someone who knows better.

I mean, I knew I had to come back. And when I did, for a little while, it seemed like everything could be the way it used to be. Skulking out down the alleys again, following leads again, kicking in faces again- non-lethally, of course. Patrolling with Tim again. And then everything got turned upside-down and you would think, you would think that under the circumstances even I could be helpful, but it didn't work out that way.

I know that when people look at me, they see the girl who got in over her head and died (sort of) for it. But now it seems like Cassandra knew my real measure all along. I can be one of the Bats, I can wear this crest, and I don't have to be anyone's sidekick, certainly not anyone's millstone to watch out for and warn away from the danger. Even if I can never have Batman's approval or permission, I can be Batgirl.

So I'm sitting here on my bedroom floor, starting to understand what happened tonight, tracing that line of yellow across the chest of my costume. But I'm still wondering: was that goodbye, or a test? If I had been a little less surprised and a little more passionate, would she have stayed?

Heh. As if anything I could ever do could ever change Cassandra's mind.

Huh. Love 'em and leave 'em Cass. Who would've thought?


End file.
